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Third wave: A message from the authorities | David Israelson

Monday, March 29, 2021 @ 11:43 AM | By David Israelson

David Israelson %>
David Israelson
Welcome to the third wave.

Of course, this may or may not be the third wave. As a leading authority in this jurisdiction, I personally consider it to be the third wave. All the signs are there.

My colleagues disagree. They say it is certainly not the third wave. Some of them think it might be the end of the second wave, or some sort of wave sneak preview if you will.

Anyway, as a leading government authority, I’m pleased to report that our sign-up system is now up and running.

By “up and running,” I don’t mean to suggest that you can now sign up for a vaccine. That will definitely be possible at some point. We’re working to determine when that will be, and we will advise everyone then.

By “everyone,” we don’t necessarily mean you. If you are over 80, have constant access to high-speed Internet and a smartphone, you will be able to stay up to the minute on what your next steps should be.

When we say “then,” let’s be clear. Vaccinations are really important. We know they’re important to you and that’s important to us. So stay tuned, as our high-level team of experts meets to determine exactly what we mean when we say that “we will advise everyone then” what your next steps should be.

Let’s also be clear about those “next steps.” You should go to your state-of-the-art smartphone right now, and using your high-speed broadband Internet, sign up right away.

By “sign up,” we’re talking about our pre-registration list. After a short delay of up to 20 minutes — which would be a still modest two-hour wait if you try by phone — you can register on our pre-list.

This gives you the opportunity to be notified at a future date about the exact moment when you can access your pre-registration data. Then, using your state-of-the-art technology, you can seek to register for a future opportunity to acquire a date for a vaccination.

When will this happen? “Then,” of course.

It’s important to remember that we are enabling you to pre-sign based on a priority system. If you are more than 80 years old, you should not be reading this — you should be on your state-of-the-art technology right now, pre-registering. Come back in 20 minutes — about two hours if you try by phone — and you can finish reading what we have to say here.

What we have to say here is important now that we’re in the third wave. Unless we’re not in the third wave — our team of authorities will determine this, unless we disagree.

Meanwhile, it’s important to follow the guidelines and rules closely. First, stay home — unless you go out.

If you go out, go home when you’re done.

What about public gatherings? This depends on a number of factors. In some regions, by “public” we mean a large number of people; in others, not so much. Before you go to that party, check to see if it’s OK in your area to visit a shut-in at a long-term care facility.

Then check what is allowed in the region next to you. It may be perfectly OK, for example, to book a manicure, but don’t let this fool you into thinking you can visit your grandmother face-to-face.

When will vaccinations be available to more people? As we said, we know that getting vaccinated is important to you. And knowing that you know that we know this is important.

So … if you were born in certain years — no, wait a second!

By this we mean certain months in certain years — no, wait!

We do mean certain years after all … anyway, if you can figure out whether you were born at the right time, you can probably walk into a drug store and they will take you right away.

Unless, of course, it’s a drug store in an area that doesn’t have any vaccines.

In that case, why not visit an older person and help them with their state-of-the-art technology to pre-sign up on the advanced pre-sign up list?

Check first to see if it’s OK to visit that old person in your particular area. 

Otherwise, maybe get your nails done.

David Israelson is a non-practising lawyer, author, journalist and communications consultant. You can follow him on Twitter @davidisraelson or on Linkedin.  

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