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How about a big hand for the doctor? | Marcel Strigberger

Friday, December 10, 2021 @ 2:33 PM | By Marcel Strigberger

Marcel Strigberger %>
Marcel Strigberger
Painless dentist? That is no pain for the dentist. A dentist in the city of Biella, Italy, who wanted to get a proof of COVID-19 vaccination certificate but did not want the shot attended at a clinic and tried to trick the staff by wearing a fake rubber hand. Actually he was wearing a silicone covering on his torso with two rubber arms. The astute nurse noticed something strange about the skin, it being cold and gummy. I believe what really gave the con attempt away was the imprinted logo on the arm, of the Goodyear blimp.

This deception certainly adds a new dimension to the expression, “show of hands.”

The good dentist now may face criminal charges. If the police soon arrest this guy, I wonder where they are going to put on the handcuffs. And I suggest they take their time if they want to take his prints to make sure they use the right fingers.

I suppose if he gets to court his lawyer will try to bring out mitigating circumstances, i.e. the positive aspects of this case. As Tevye of Fiddler on the Roof fame might say it may not look good but, “on the other hand …”

The only good thing I can think of is that it would have been easier to get a quick appointment with this dentist as his receptionist would not be able to say to patients calling for a rush appointment, “Sorry but the doctor only has one pair of hands.”

And at least he did not insult the clinic nurse who called him out by saying something like, “Oh yeah? I’m rubber, you’re glue.”

His lawyer of course may ask the court to be equitable. Then again, we all know that if you want equity, you have to come before the court with clean hands.

In my view should such an incident come before our courts, the judges should be heavy handed in sentencing. General deterrence is crucial. They should deal with such culprits with an iron fist.

Upon reflection, this attempted vaccine certificate fraud concerns me. Will others try it here at home? I think the government ought to look into tough legislation to deal with potential vax cheats. Call it something like the Fake Arms Act. Or the Do Not Lay Rubber Act. Or perhaps the Cold Shoulder Act.

Or to keep it simple they can maybe just amend the Statute of Frauds. Makes sense? I’m sure our legislators can get creative.              

I am also concerned about a dentist turning out to be dishonest. We lawyers are sometimes accused of not being straight. But dentists? Come to think about it, in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales there is no mention of a dentist. Why not? Maybe there was one on the pilgrimage initially but he got banished after stealing the miller’s dentures. I believe in the Miller’s Tale, he does say something like, “That quacke yanked them out of my mouth while I was asleep. I’ll kick his arse. Pater noster!”

However, there is no mention of a lawyer either. Or should I say, lawyere. And that’s a couple of centuries before Shakespeare suggested what firstly to do with the lawyers.

At least the culprit has been found out and justice will be done. The good dentist was bitten in the hand for trying to feed “it” to others.

Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His just launched book Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging is now available in paper and e-book versions where books are sold. Visit Follow him @MarcelsHumour.

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